Addiction Rehabilitation: Pull Up the Bootstraps
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I’ve never understood the phrase pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Did it ever occur to whomever created that phrase that someone else killed the cow to make the leather. Someone else wove the thread, made the soles, inserted the grommets, laced the shoes, packaged it, promoted it, shipped it, received it, shelved it, helped you try it on, and bagged it with a happy smile all bright eyed and bushy tailed saying, “have a nice day, sir”? That’s not counting the people manning the nuclear reactor or hydro-electric dam who supplied power to the store, the factory or your computer where you looked online to seek reviews about the boots and straps you chose to pull yourself up by.
The idea that you can do something on your own completely under your own power is ludicrous. People need people. We are interdependent. This is why there are no quick fixes to recovery. That’s not to say that you won’t heal quickly; it happens. It happened with me. Life is complicated. Addiction can be complicated.
Do people consider that some things can’t be explained? When did it happen that humans must explain all things? How can finite creatures explain infinite things? The longer time rolls the more questions I have. A scientist friend of mine mentions similar experiences in the laboratory. He may go into the laboratory with three questions. While he may answer one, he leaves with five more questions. Such is life. Such is recovery.
Be well,
Damon
6 Comments on this post
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Vivian Eisenecher said:
Recovery is much easier when it is shared with someone else in recovery. That is why AA is so effective!
July 9th, 2009 at 12:33 pm -
Damon said:
No doubt there’s strength in numbers. It’s the way we’re made. There no wonder community oriented sitcoms have been so popular over the years, e.g. Friends, Cheers, the Cosby Show and a bunch of others. Community is vitality.
I get concerned seeing the kind of “do it on your own from the comfort of your choosing” approach. It becomes a recipe for isolation. Isolation is death.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm -
Michael said:
I’m not disagreeing with anything in this post, but I do need to ask where is the difference between the strength of community in recovery versus blaming others for one’s own stupid choices? And how are people with a healthy mentality (let alone a mind messed up by addiction) supposed to draw the distinction between self responsibility and community living?
July 10th, 2009 at 1:36 pm -
Damon said:
I don’t understand your question. I don’t see a difference between responsibility and community. How can anyone be self responsible outside of community? How can anyone be in community without being self responsible? People often don’t like circular arguments, but with qualitative issues like addictions, both and seem like a married couple.
A boy asked his father, “Did the chicken come before the egg?”
“No, the egg came first. You can’t have a chicken without an egg.”
The same boy asked his uncle, “Did the chicken come before the egg?”
“Yes, you can’t have eggs without chickens.”
The boy grew up, married and had a son. His son asked, “Did the chicken come before the egg?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there in the beginning. Maybe they came at the same time. However, I do know that they need each other.”
July 10th, 2009 at 7:18 pm -
Michael said:
The question is about the fact that so many people who make bad decisions tend to blame someone else (community) for their self-inflicted problems. The integration of a person into into community can have many aspects. On the one hand we say people should take responsibility for their own actions and on the other we say don’t try to heal from addictions on your own. In the messed up mind of the addict it seems so easy to blame others for everything bad in one’s life. How does one break through that self delusion? Clearly it’s possible, and yet so many just don’t get even this far.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:13 pm -
Damon said:
I don’t know. Why do Christians call themselves godly then steal from the workplace and their employer? Why do atheists cry to G-d when terrorists come to chop their heads off? The entire human race is delusional. Those who have been in recovery for a long time have become aware of the delusion. It seems the ones who fail in recovery often choose to ignore this delusion.
How do you break through self delusion? Part of it has to be a desire to do anything and accept the truth of what is revealed in the process.
Recovery is not a healing process it’s a revelation process.
It isn’t recovery because you are not being restored to a prior state. Everything changes. We addicts have crossed the line; we can’t go back, but we can go forward.
You’ve read in past posts that I wish I could go back to the past and slit my own throat. Is that unhealthy? It is in some ways. In other ways it’s simply a reaction to the revelation that I don’t deserve a second chance. I don’t deserve to run RecoverCast or try to help anyone. The fact that I have been given a second chance is a gift: a gift that I thankfully take, but do not deserve. This gift helps me move forward.
The revelation as to who you are and what you’ve done before yourself, G-d and man is of utmost importance in recovery. More important is to be willing to accept whatever comes.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:51 pm